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Lunch Book Club Discusses “How to Know a Person”

Lunch Book Club Discusses "How to Know a Person"

Library Director Julia Turpin leads a lunch-hour book club called Booked for Lunch. On Tuesday, Feb. 11, we'll discuss "How to Know a Person."

Post Author

Hannah Kiger

Library Director Julia Turpin leads a lunch-hour book club called Booked for Lunch that meets every three months. You bring your own lunch and discuss the title for that month.

The next meeting is Tuesday, Feb. 11 from 12-1 p.m. in the Library’s Jones Meeting Center. We’ll discuss David Brooks’ new nonfiction How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen. If you need help finding a copy of the book, give us a call at (423) 434-4454.

Julia recently reviewed How to Know a Person for Johnson City Press. You can read her review below!


When I initially decided to start David Brooks’ How to Know a Person, I approached it with preconceived ideas about what I might learn. I assumed it would be a book about communication strategy; I wasn’t prepared for the truly remarkable and emotional journey Brooks provides.

I think everyone—everyone—should read this book. I’m not easily moved by books that tackle self-discovery. However, How to Know a Person is so much more than your run-of-the-mill lesson on growth. It is truly a masterclass in how we as human beings communicate and don’t communicate, how we see the world and each other, and how we can do better.

Using lessons from the latest neuroscientific research, Brooks argues that there are two broad classifications of people: Illuminators and Diminishers. Humans are naturally inclined to move between these two behavioral trends. In recent years, we have come to lose the skills necessary to truly see one another and live our lives as Illuminators.

Brooks presents a toolkit for reconnecting with others. The biggest tool in our toolbox is communication. Conversations are important, not only the deeply moving ones, but the pleasantries of daily life. These daily interactions with our fellow humans are what help us feel seen.

According to Brooks, feeling invisible or unseen is one of the greatest threats to our society. Feelings of isolation and loneliness are increasing, along with depression and anxiety. Citing research, Brooks argues that living with heightened feelings of isolation, depression, and anxiety affects the way people experience the world.

“Perception is reality” may be a cliché, but it is also backed by the research Brooks shares. Having a deeper understanding of how others experience what we know as reality is the first step in truly seeing them.

We know and acknowledge that we are living in a highly divisive time. However, I encourage you to take a cue from this book as you move throughout your day and interact with others. Try to pause and truly see others. I think you’ll find that you feel a little more connected, and I suspect others will feel a little more connected as well.

This book isn’t just about building close relationships. It’s about the glue that holds our society together: seeing others and letting them see you.


Your Library’s staff loves giving book recommendations! If you need something new to read, we can help find books and authors that are perfect for you. Call (423) 434-4450 or drop by 100 West Millard Street to talk with a librarian. We also regularly highlight and recommend books on Facebook and Instagram, so follow us!

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